


Cursed

by F1_rabbit



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Blood, Curses, Drunken Shenanigans, Fluff and Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-26 22:59:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12568112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/F1_rabbit/pseuds/F1_rabbit
Summary: Jo and Dany decide to drink away their problems, but then they come up with a plan to get revenge...





	Cursed

Opening the bottle of vodka was a mistake.

Matching Dany shot for shot was just plain stupid.

Jo wasn’t much of a drinker at the best of times, but trying to outdrink a Russian was always going to end badly.

It sounded like they were making out on the sofa, but they were devouring a pizza, both groaning in pleasure as the warm bread and melty cheese soaked up the alcohol.

Dany took a swig of vodka, letting out a sigh as he sat the bottle down. “I’ve missed this.”

“The alcohol? Or the pizza?”

“Both.” Dany rolled up a slice of pizza, stuffing it into his mouth whole as he grinned. “It’s been so long since I could just eat what I want, Red Bull wer-“

“No talking about those who shall not be named.” Jo wagged his finger at Dany like a headmaster chiding as student. “You know the rules, you have to take a drink!”

Dany took a sip, before handing the bottle over and Jo’s stomach churned as the vodka hit his tongue.

“You deserved so much better.”

“So did you.” Dany reached for the vodka, wrapping his hand around Jo’s as they stared into each other’s eyes.

“You’re such a nice guy.”

“So are you. And I’m not just saying that, I really mean it. I love you, mate.” Dany’s words were slurred, his eyelids drooping, and he shuffled closer for a hug, knocking the pizza box on to the floor as he wrapped his lanky arms around Jo.

“I love you too, man.” Jo felt the room spin, Dany’s body warm against his, and he put his foot down on the floor to steady himself, his foot squishing against the pizza. “Bugger, I just stepped on the pizza.”

Dany howled with laughter as Jo wriggled out of his stripy sock, leaving it lying on the now ruined slice of pizza.

“Just when I think my luck can’t get any worse.” Jo hoped that he would sound funny, but it was pitiful, and Dany rushed in for another hug.

“I wish I could make them suffer the way that they made us suffer.” Dany’s words were no longer slurred, and the grin on his face made him look like he was plotting to take over the world.

“I think it’s a bit too late to go to Mexico and steal parts from the engines.” Jo snorted in laughter, his eyes darting around as he tried to focus on Dany, and failed, even though his face was only inches away.

“What if we didn’t have to go to Mexico?” Dany stumbled off the sofa, Jo feeling the sting of the cool evening air as the sound of Dany rooting through cupboards echoed around the flat.

The was silence, and Jo looked up to see Dany standing in the doorway, knife in hand as he held it to his wrist.

“Fuck, Dany, put the knife down.” Jo rushed over, using the wall to steady himself as the fog of alcohol cleared. “However bad you feel now, it’s just temporary.”

“What?” Dany peered at Jo, the wrinkles around his eyes underlining his confusion.

“Give me the knife.” Jo slowly prised the knife out of Dany’s hands, his heart thumping as he wondered what he could do, given he was in no fit state to drive.

“Wait, you didn’t think that I would...” Dany laughed, clutching his sides as he stumbled into Jo’s arms, nearly knocking him over in the process. “I wasn’t going to hurt myself, I just need blood for the pentagram.”

“Pentagram?”

“If we’re going to curse them then it has to be a blood pentagram.” Dany shrugged, as though this was common knowledge.

“Curse?”

“I read about it in a book.” Dany smiled, taking the knife back out of Jo’s hand as he held it to his fingertip, the blade pushing against his pale skin.

“Stop.” Jo held his hand up as a plan formed in his alcohol soaked mind. “I have a better way to get blood.”

He took Dany’s hand, leading him to the bathroom, the light bright in the small space, and he pointed to the plastic bin that was filled with used tampons.

“Will they work?”

Dany’s eyes lit up, and he pulled on the yellow rubber gloves that were lying on the side of the sink, evidence of how far Jo had got with cleaning the flat before Dany arrived.

Jo sat down on the side of the bath, the smell of stale blood making him feel queasy, and he slumped down on to the floor. It was the safest place for him right now.

Dany was holding up a tampon, fat with blood, and he laughed to himself, an evil chuckle that sent shivers down Jo’s spine.

“I think you missed your calling as a mad scientist.”

“There’s still time.” Dany threw his head back as he laughed. “Are you going to help me?”

Jo shook his head as Dany set about drawing a pentagram on the pristine white tiles, his tongue poking out as he focused, and when he was done, he sat back to admire his work, the light making the blood look almost black.

“We need something to target the curse. Do you have an old Renault t-shirt lying about?”

Jo went to stand up, but his muscles were uncooperative, his knees buckling and sending him back to the ground with an undignified groan.

“Are you okay?” Dany peeled his gloves off, leaving them inside out on the floor as he kneeled down next to Jo.

“I don’t like blood.”

“Isn’t your dad a doctor?”

“Yeah, but I really don’t like blood, not since...” Jo placed his hand over his missing kidney, staring at the bloody mess on the floor as he wondered how he ended up here.

Dany rested his head on Jo’s shoulder, the manic energy that had been fuelling him only a moment ago was fading, and Jo struggled to keep his eyes open.

And then Dany came back to life like someone had flicked a switch, making Jo’s heart pound with the shock of it.

“I know what we can use!”

Dany rushed through to the living room, and Jo tried to stand, but by the time he’d propped himself up against the bath, Dany was back, holding his old Toro Rosso shirt, complete with the Renault logo.

“This should curse all of them!” Dany grinned, and Jo slid down the side of the bath, he couldn’t tell if this was a bad idea, or if his stomach was churning because of all the vodka.

“What do we do now?”

“We have to decide what we want to happen.” Dany rubbed his hands together, placing the neatly folded t-shirt in the middle of the pentagram, the logos of those who had wronged them staring out.

“I don’t want anyone to get hurt.” Jo felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He didn’t believe in any of this, he wasn’t religious, and he definitely didn’t believe in magic. But just the thought that it could work, that it could do real damage, that terrified him.

“Of course not.” Dany waved his hands as though he was shooing the bad thoughts away. “Me and Carlos used to be good friends, not so much anymore, but when we were teenagers, we were best friends.”

“He seems like a decent guy.” Jo reached out for Dany, but he was too far away, so he just patted the floor next to him.

“I’ve never told anyone this, but Carlos was my first kiss.” Dany pressed his finger to his lips, smiling as he made a shush sound.

“Nico’s a nice guy too, shallow, but lovely.” Jo snorted in laughter, the image of Nico and his distasteful fashion choices would be forever etched in his mind.

“And Brendon’s the loveliest guy.” Dany smiled, cuddling into Jo as he reached out for his hand. “He was the first person that I talked to when I realised I was attracted to guys, and do you know what he said? ‘You’re still you, mate, no matter who you love.’”

“I don’t really know him, but I’ve never heard a bad word about him.”

“He deserves his chance in F1, Red Bull really screwed him over the first time round.”

Jo nodded, giving Dany’s hand a little squeeze, the warmth of the alcohol making its way to a nice fuzzy glow.

“What about Max?”

“He’s a nice guy, underneath all the media hype.” Dany sat up, still holding Jo’s hand as he stroked the side of it with his thumb, and Jo frowned for a second when Dany took his hand back. “Screw it, you know who we should use this pentagram for?”

“Dan?”

“No, screw him and his cheery fucking smile.” Dany grinned as he cracked his knuckles, his body ready for a fight.

“We should use it to make someone happy, someone who deserves a break.”

“Did you see that people have been sending death threats to Esteban?”

Dany clutched his heart with all the over-acting of a daytime soap star. “But he’s so nice.”

“I know.” Jo had received a few in his time, and Dany was no stranger to it all, but the fact that it even happened in their sport, well, hopefully still their sport, made him sad.

“Then it’s settled, we’ll make Esteban happy.” Dany ran his tongue around the edge of his lips, his eyes staring into the distance.

“How?”

“I need a photo of him.” Dany shuffled so that he could take his phone out of his pocket, tapping away at the screen until he found what he was looking for.  “Done.”

Dany threw his Toro Rosso t-shirt into the bath, shuddering as he touched it, before placing his phone in the middle of the pentagram.

Esteban looked so cheery in the photo, and Jo felt a stab of guilt at the fact that he’d been dealing with all of that alone.

“Okay, hold my hands.” Dany thrust his hands out, and Jo took them, shuffling so that they were sitting at opposite sides of the pentagram. “Now, all we have to do is think happy thoughts.”

Jo burst out laughing, and Dany did not look impressed. “Sorry, you know we could have just sent him a text wishing him good luck.”

“But I’ve drawn the pentagram now.” Dany pouted and Jo sniggered, compressing his lips together to stop himself from laughing again.

He closed his eyes, and the low roar of the traffic outside was a faint echo of the F1 cars lining up on the starting grid.

Jo smiled to himself, happy thoughts running through his head, and then Dany’s lips were on his, so soft and plump, the taste of vodka adding to the rush of it.

“Wanna watch the race and see if our spell worked?”

*

Esteban smiled as the warm water of the shower surrounded him, fifth was a good result, and although a podium would have been nice, he knew that he would be up there one day soon.

Lance stepped in after him, smiling as he leant in for a kiss, and Esteban felt that all was right with the world.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> *and obviously none of this actually happened, it is all a figment of my twisted imagination ;)


End file.
